The days down here in Skåne are quite hectic, haha believe it or not. Having three kids is a lot of organisation. It’s a huge jump between one child to two children. And then they say after that it really doesn’t matter if you have five. But it does have a new level, of having to plan everything. Everything takes a liiiittle bit longer. But it really is so nice seeing Loui and Marley taking in Maddox so much. Especially Loui, he is soooo proud of his new little “baby” (that he calls him). The days are lazy but filled with a lot of activities. Oscars whole family has been down here, both his brothers and families. It’s always special being the newest family member, except for Maddox of course. But they have really let me in. And I feel like they are making a little room for me each time I meet them. So a week down here has been good for everyone I think. Today I finally get to show Maddox to my family, my everything- Grandma and Bertil! How I’ve been longing for this day all my life!! I’m so excited
( this photo is taken today - day 13. But I started writing this post day 10. )
Today it’s been 10 days since I did my caesarean. My belly is still swollen. But I have lost all my baby weight already- 10kg! I can’t believe how amazing the body is. It literally takes care of itself.
Its been quite tough to be honest. Due to the wound. I’ve literally had to learn how to walk again. Haha. But the doctor said that it would be better if I get moving and walking around as soon as possible. And I can tell you it really has.
i have been walking 10 000-15 000 steps a day and it has help so much with the swelling and overload of water bloating to go down. Of course I still have a loooong way to go. But if you have done a cesarean, I recommend you to move as much as you can. Laying still is not going to help you, both physically and mentally. So I’m glad the doctors really pushed for me to do so, because it has made me feel a lot stronger mentally.
I have even started training a bit- OF COURSE NOT MY CORE- but I have gotten exercises from my amazing Barre teacher Sara. So I’m exercising my Arms with no weights and 1kg weight exercises (which I’m allowed to have. Because I’m a lot to train with weights that weigh as much as Maddox. )And also leg exercises, very static ones. All exercises have been cleared with my doctor and physio. So they are 100% safe. If you are interested- I will post all of them here! I can start by sharing the YouTube videos I’ve found with similar exercises. But anyways! I know a lot of people will have their say on this. But they have really helped me feel a lot stronger both physically and mentally. And for me, that’s the most important thing. Don’t be scared to move! Your body is so much stronger than you think. It’s made to move! I’m so excited to not get my body back, but to rebuild one completely! Such a cool journey!
Bye Stockholm! Hello Skåne!!
We are finally off to Skåne for a week. I am soooo excited to leave Stockholm. While we are down there we are remaking all our floors at home. I’m soooo excited for that!!! So we are making our floors like the below pictures. Right now we have light coloured ones, and I want them dark. I think it will go really well with the colours in our apartment. They are very much inspired from the ones in the picture. It will give the rooms a little bit edgier.
Then we are done!!! Well almost, we just need to change the taps in the bathroom and decorate our “library”. But over all. DONE!!!! I couldn’t be happier guys. I’ve been longing so much for this day. Haha. I’m never moving again. And I can’t wait to show you my before and after photos. I’m very happy with my total make over :)
I wish I had better updates, but there really isn’t much happening in the baby bubble. We are just soaking up everyday as a little family. Seeing our close friends and introducing them to Maddox. Tomorrow we are off to Skåne for a week to see Oscar’s family and this week we have Loui and Marley as well. Man, I’m longing for them and for the entire family to be together. I have decided that next week I am just going to soak up spending time with family and listening to a lot of podcasts for some inspiration that I can share with you guys here. I feel like I’ve gone through a dry period where I haven’t really delivered to you guys. Even though my following is growing so much! This month it has gone up 298%!!! That’s insane! And I feel so grateful, but also so bad at the same time, because my content hasn’t been so exciting haha. I have like started writing so many blog posts that are quite deep, but haven’t had time to finish them. And then when I have time I start a new blogposts instead of finishing the other ones. And so the circle goes. Sooo anyways! I will get better! But I will be checking out of Instagram, so you will find me here for updates. :)
As I’ve already spammed you with it on Instagram, I will do it here as well. Because some of you may not follow me there or may have missed the hundred posts. Hehe. But since I was so honoured when they asked me if I could be interviewed, I of course will never stop sharing it! I have always dreamt of being interviewed by ELLE. I actually was in an interview with ELLE together with Dua Lipa last year when I was working at NYDEN, when we made the announcement that we were working with her and making a collection together. But that was mostly about her and my/our work. So this was a little bit different and a little bit bigger!
So here is the article if you haven’t read it yet😍
Today we felt that we needed to escape Stockholm for a little bit. As we are pretty stuck here in Sweden for the next upcoming weeks, so we need to be as creative as much as we can. As I’ve never been to the archipelago here outside Stockholm, we headed out there the other day. Today we went to Torö. Unfortunately it was raining, but just being in the car and listening to podcasts was amazing, just what the doctor ordered. Then as we were heading back to Stockholm, the sun started to crack through the clouds so we headed out to the Royal Castle- Drottningholm Holm. And he had the place all to ourself. It was so soothing. I love having things so private for myself. We just walked around and soaked up the sunset all to ourselves. My little family. MY FAMILY! How amazing is that? I have my own little family❤️
I wanted to dedicate this post to Ebba Barkenbom, not just a “birth photographer” but one of my newest friends whom I’ve fallen completely head over heels for. Ebba approached me at a Galleria here in a Stockholm a few months back. It took a second for me to like her. And a coffee to absolutely love her. She was so warm, genuine and dedicated from the very first meeting. When she told me about what she does, I thought it must be the most amazing job in the world, but I was hesitant to the thought of doing it myself. I don’t know why actually. I think it was of the idea of letting someone into the most sacred space and moment in life. But after meeting with her, I knew I had to do it.
We have pictures from our weddings, graduations, and all of the hundred vacations we go on. So why wouldn’t I want to capture the biggest and most life changing moment of my life- the second I meet my son. The second I become a mom. As soon as I saw the other photos she had taken, I knew I wanted the same. Not to share on social media, but to have for the future to look back on. Show Maddox. A sacred memory to go back to on rainy days.
Now, after having it done, I am soooo grateful I decided to do it, and managed to convince Oscar to agree to it. Both Oscar and I are very private that way. Our bubble is very much ours. And not a lot of people get to be apart of it. So sharing the birth of our first child with someone else, wasn’t an easy one to convince. But Oscar agrees with me on one thing today:
Having Ebba there only made it better. Not because of the photos, but because it was her.
I knew I also wanted photos from the actual labour and not just the delivery, so she was there for big chunks of the time. Of course, she wasn’t there the entire 30+ hour journey. But she was there for the important moments. And I didn’t think about her being there at all taking photos. Not once, not even for a second.
As you can see in the photos, I had to have a cesarean after 30 hours of extreme intense contractions, because he was facing the other way. I was so devastated when I got the news because I was so pumped and ready to go on for another 30h if I had to. And Ebba captured that moment when I turned to Oscar. And even that moment I’m happy I got in a photo. Because it symbolises our relationship and partnership so much.
So if you are about to give birth. I couldn’t recommend it more than I have. It was an incredible experience bringing Maddox to the world and I will forever have these photos to take me back to these hours. Yes, it was long but it was sooooo powerful and I don’t think you can ever relive anything like it. If you have any questions, feel free to write me. Or better yet! Meet Ebba and she will explain everything. And you will fall in love with her, just like everyone does!
Yesterday my two best friends came over and met Maddox. They were here to celebrate me, but ended up pretty much just sitting and staring at him all night. Haha. But it was such a surreal feeling, to have your closest friends meet your newest little best friend. He’s apart of the squad now! I really don’t have a lot to say about this, more than that I feel so blessed. Like I cry all the time now days. I just bursted into tears when I was going to bed after they left because I am so in love with life and all the amazing people I have in it. Supporting me through it. Something has changed the past year. Maybe it’s that I finally have time to really stop and take in all these amazing people around me. Because I think they have been here all along, but I just haven’t had the time and space to take them or these moments in. I will write a longer post about it I think. For you, who just started reading my blog, how different my life used to be just a year ago. And how it all changed.
But moments like these reminds me of just how much I absolutely adore them. And how grateful I am for every single one of my friends that now share a huge part of my heart together with maddox
After I got home from the hospital yesterday, Maddox and I did our first outting! As my body is just learning how to walk again (literally), I want to get moving as much as possible, as soon as possible. You all know how impatient I am (with everything…). So we stepped outside to make a few errands.
Anyways- I have made a decision that I want to tell you about. I’ve decided that I will only share stuff about Maddox here on my own platform. There may be an occasional photo on Instagram, but I have decided that I want to keep majority of Maddox in an environment that I can control. Because when I shared the photo of Maddox’s arrival I had over 140 people share his photo (as in, that they sent it to someone in a DM) and over 50 people “saved” his photo. I am not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing, that people did it with any intention but to spread the wonderful news. So if you are someone that did share it and only did it as a wonderful news kind of thing- thank you!!! You’re amazing and I absolutely love and adore you for that. I want the world to see him!!! But as for now, I want to create a sacred space for him and I’ve decided I want to do it here.
I have also decided that the upcoming month, that I will be taking a little break from Instagram. Because I feel that now, more than ever, I’m so present. I’m right where I need to be. Doing exactly what I should be doing. Building my family and embracing my new role as a mom (OMG! IM A MOM!!!). And I want to focus on just that. Not that I’m on Instagram for hours and hours every day. But I find myself, as probably most of you, indulging in so much crap out there. And it clouds the brain. So when I checked the activity timer in the Instagram app- I saw that I spend an average - 45-60 minutes A DAY (!!!) on Instagram. I mean, how? AWhen? It literally feels like I check it once a day. Well for me, that’s an hour a day that I could spend without Maddox or my family. It’s 7 hours in a week!!! And 30 in a month!!! 30 hours I never get back! And 30 hours I can put in to something a lot more useful right now.
But don’t get me wrong, I love all the updates from my friends and I love Instagram as a tool to be inspired by new things. But my friends already send me updates every day from what they are doing, which I actually like even more because then I can actually respond to it straight away. And when it comes to fetching information for inspiration, I’d rather set aside an hour when I need it to really explore whatever I need to indulge in, rather than brainless strolling in hoping for something to pop up.
Well that’s at least my take. And I couldn’t be more excited to see what this does to my days and my wellbeing. Because if it’s one time in my life when I want to be present, it’s definitely these days.
But as I love writing and sharing my days or just random inspirational photos or ideas I find, I will of course continue to post here. And if you guys have tips on good blogs, please send them to me! It could be yours! Your friend’s! Your mom’s! Or just your favourite blogger. Because I’d much rather read stuff.
last night Maddox put of nowhere was no longer responding. Didn’t matter if we picked him up, shocked him, pinched his little feet, we got no reaction. So of course, the worst anxiety I’ve ever felt took over mine and Oscars body. But in just 2 minutes the ambulance arrived and we headed straight to the hospital. They don’t know why it happened, but he is 100% fine. Everything looked good and all his test results were perfection. We had to stay the night for observation, but after that we got to head back home again.
Yes, the experience itself was of course awful. But it was also extremely powerful to feel so much responsibility for someone. I don’t even feel that for myself. These mother instincts that people always talk about, kicked in as the strongest force I’ve ever felt. It made me realise how fast these things go. That’s why the next time someone tells me that they aren’t ready for kids, i’ll tell them this:
Of course you aren’t! You possibly can’t be. Even I who thought I was ready, as I already had Marley and Loui as “bonuskids”, had no idea these feelings even existed. I couldn’t ever imagine how strong these feelings could be and how they literally come from one day to another. I really wish I could describe them to you, but I can’t. And I’m not even going to try. I’m going to let you experience them for yourself. Because they are life changing. But if it’s one thing I can say- don’t wait for the sake of waiting. If I knew what I know today, I would have done this a long time ago. It really is the best feeling I’ve ever felt.
Today we got to come home!!! What a weird feeling it was to leave. You get to know everyone so much as the hospital, all the nurses and doctors, and they become so important to you. But for them you’re pretty much one in a million. Haha. But leaving so extremely bruised and taking home our newest family member was definitely one of the biggest thing I’ve done my whole life. It’s official, this is for real. This is my new life now. I have a son (I HAVE A SON!!!!) full time now, not just 50% any longer, but 100%. He is with us all day and all night. It feels so crazy to even think about it. I can’t wait to spend our first night together in our big bed.
Since June 1st, I’ve slept a total of 6 hours. So… I’m exhausted. But at the same time, I’ve never had this much energy in my whole life! These hormones definitely keeps you going. But I’m looking forward to some downtime this weekend. Recover. Start walking again. And spend the last few days with my mom before she moves to Asia. And of course, cocooning with Mr. Maddox.
I’m dying of his cuteness guys! LOOK AT HIM!
I know I’m biased though haha
So this time around, my MIA has had to do with this amazing little fella. He arrived on 3rd of July after a looong delivery. It is a long and powerful story, which I can’t wait to share with you. After two days at the hospital of intense recovery, for me. I think we get to head home today. I will of course post updates about life here, but I won’t turn this into a baby-mama blog. Haha don’t worry! But I do really want to share my birthday story and the impact and feelings I have around it. As I had @birthbybarkenbom there to get some amazing photos of us, throughout the entire 30 hour long labour. I’ll share them as soon as I have them. And OF COURSE, the most amazing photo of all. The very first second I got to see Maddox. That was powerful.
see you in a little bit. Here he is. MY SON!!!!!
So yesterday, I stepped into week 41! Due date! It’s time to get this baby going.
Two weeks ago my symptoms started. I got pre-contractions that went on for a week non-stop. It got pretty tiring, even though I powered through. “Slemproppen” (sorry I don’t know the English word) went, TWICE! Yet nothing… I have stayed so active. Been walking between 17000-25000 steps a day, trained 5 times last week. And yet, nothing… But I’m not that bitter. Most people get so miserable from not delivering, but I feel it’s pretty okay. I’m just staying really active and doing things I love. And this week my mom arrived and she will stay until Maddox is born, so I’m at least occupied every day.
But this week- no symptoms! No nothing. A lot of good energy though. I am however putting on a lot of weight, did 3 kg in 2 days. So it’s definitely water weight.
Last week I lost 2,5kg. So from the start of my pregnancy so far I have only gained +10kg. Which I know you shouldn’t count. But it helps me feel in control. And it doesn’t feel like it’s Mount Everest I need to climb once I’m done. So we’ll see where I end up. But my appetite is strong hahaha and I’m back to only eating carbs pretty much. I guess I’m storing energy? 🤷🏼♀️Haha
I promise I’ll be better at posting this week and keep you updated on the arrival! If there is nothing interesting to tell- I promise I won’t bore you with pregnancy stuff.
Since I’m pretty much just living a housewife life right now, I might as well do it all the way. haha. So I go shopping. I AM SO EXCITED for fall and to have my style back! At the moment I’m practically living in the same clothes every day, because I have two pants that fit me, and 2 tops. hahaha. And they are just duplicates of each other. So, accessories is the only thing I can be creative with.
I fell drop dead in love with these Acne sneakers! Since I have the white ones and they are by far the most comfortable shoes that I have ever worn. I really been hoping they would make some nice ones for fall. These are however from this previous season, but they are perfect and very “Stina” for fall. AND! They were on Sale! SUCCESS
Then I walked into Chanel and found the boots of my dreams. I NEED THEM. I’m a Dr Martens girl. Not the original ones, but the ones that are a bit higher with a heel. And I love them. and always my go to shoe. But seeing these bad ass, rock chic, Chanel beauties, I need them. Soooooo bad. hehe
Since my amazing Chanel chain was stolen 2-3 months ago, I have been looking for a new gold chain. Found this Dior at Nathalie Schutterman. I really liked it. Not as perfect as my Chanel chain, but definitely wouldn’t cry if I got it for my birthday. hahaha
Oh hello Chloé boots. IN PYTHON!!!! I love dark python. Also found these at Nathalie Schutterman
Hehe this bags says it all… WOW WOW WOW
I love when classic bags, almost a bit “lady bag” likes adds that more chic touch to it.
Well…. If I was made out of money, I wouldn’t even blink. It is bigger than it looks. Like a big bag, which just added so much attitude to it. Not that it needed more. But it is definitely a good thing that it’s the big size.
Last week when I took a “week off” I did quite a lot of soul searching last week. Not that I sat on a rock and meditated. But I only did things I wanted to do, not needed to do. And it all just sort of came to me. And I really want to share it with you. So I’m going to write a long post about it tonight. :)
I know I have been a bit MIA… I’m sorry for that! I have been consumed by a bunch of visitors, both friends and family this weeekend. And to be honest, I have been wiped out the extra second I have gotten over. It’s really starting to itch for me now.
The weeks are now getting longer and aloooot heavier. For some reason it feels like I’ve grown twice the speed the last week and I’m putting on a lot of water weight. Haha.
But this weekend has been filled with so much love and I am so happy for my family and the wonderful friends I have. I’m so blessed to have a husband like Oscar and kids like Loui and Marley. It was everything I possibly could want.
This week my mom is here And she’s staying until Maddox arrives! Cooooome on mama!!! I’m so excited for the little man to arrive. Because I can’t go shopping more. Hahaha it’s literally what I’ve been doing the entire week. I’m not complaining. But my bank account sure is hahaha
ill do an update of the finds I found yesterday.
Okay, so I absolutely hate not working. I am one of those people that needs to have 100 things to do. Luckily, I’m creative and I have a tendency to stay busy. So I fill my days with loads of things to do. Even though it’s getting wayyyy harder to have things to do, since it’s getting a little bit heavy and it’s starting to really heat up in Stockholm.
My day started with breakfast at my “Breakfast Bestie’s” place. We usually have breakfast almost every second week at Nybrogatan 38. Because we live so far from each other. But since I don’t have much planned now days (hehe) I figured I could just go to her place. Which was absolutely stunning! I love when people’s home exerts their personality. And it was so much Ami in that place. So grande! So soothing. So breezy and loving and edgy! Just like her. She is such a wonderful friend and someone who I knew many many years ago, from a workplace. But now, last summer, she contacted me and we fell straight into this awesome friendship that has blossomed and become so incredible important to me.
After that, I got to hang out with Loui for the day, as he was sick. So we just ran around doing errands and played football and dinosaurs in the park. Haha. After that I was pretty wiped. MAN! how do these kindergarten teachers do it??
Then I ended my day with a two hour long walk in Haga park. So an extremely chill day.
God, this wasn’t an exciting blog post at all! Hahahaha
i promise I’ll be more creative later today!
This picture was taken a couple of days ago. But I just wanted to give you a little update on Maddox.
Well, it’s 9 days until due day. But my pre-contractions were getting pretty intense last Sunday and it has lasted all week. They have been constant and they haven’t gotten worse. Until last night. My “slempropp” came yesterday afternoon, and I almost immediately I started “leaking”. Not so bad that I thought that it was that my water broke, but drops were running down my legs for a couple of hours. I thought it was pee, but it came from the other place. This started at 3 pm and around 6 pm I started to feel really nauseas with really bad “menstrual cramps” which came and went. So I thought it has started… All evening it continued and when we went to bed at around 12am, it got so bad. I felt extremely nauseas and the cramps was making my body really itch. Oh god, I hated it. I thought it was going to be the longest night and that I’d never wake up.
I did however fall asleep pretty much straight after I felt that way. haha. But I woke up like every 30 minutes the entire night because I was in so much pain. At 4 am, I threw in the towel. Now it’s 5 am and I don’t have ny cramp, nor am I feeling nauseas. This pisses me off. I am not agitated about him coming out like everyone that is pregnant seem to be. He can stay put for another 2-3 weeks- more time for me! BUT the pact that these pains are so intense and inconsistent and random, it’s making it pretty hard staying normal and having nice days. Cause it literally turns from one second to another. The positive thing is though- that I have alot of energy. So I don’t feel so tired. Which also kind of sucks, because supposedly that slows down the process- running around doing things instead of just resting.
But anyways, let’s see what happens today. I’m ready for anything! But today I’m hoping to just have some alone and down time in the sun with Oscar. It’s supposed to be like 30 degrees today!
I found this table at artilleriet.se and I really want one. The only thing is that it’s a bit too small. I want/need a bigger one. So if you know anyone that sells a bigger one- OR!- how to make one yourself. Please please please let me know!